For the first time since quietly ending her engagement, Today show star Hoda Kotb has opened up about the deeply emotional reason behind her split from former fiancé Joel Schiffman — revealing that their decision came from love, not resentment.
In her new book, Jump and Find Joy: Embracing Change in Every Season of Life, the 61-year-old broadcaster reflects candidly on the end of their eight-year relationship, describing moments of heartbreak, gratitude and clarity that ultimately led them to part ways.
Hoda and Joel, a New York-based financier, became engaged in 2019 before announcing their split live on Today on January 31, 2022 — a moment that stunned fans who had followed their family journey closely.
Now, Hoda explains that the decision was far from impulsive.
“Our decision to part wasn’t one that we took lightly,” she writes. “But we knew it was the right one.”
Crucially, she stresses that the separation was rooted in care rather than conflict.
“It came from a place of love, not anger,” she adds — a distinction she says made all the difference.
Despite the end of their romantic relationship, Hoda and Joel remain closely connected through their shared role as parents to their two adopted daughters, Haley Joy, eight, and Hope Catherine, six.
Hoda reveals that she first raised the idea of adoption just one year into their relationship — a moment she recalls with overwhelming emotion.
“I literally fell onto his chest and wept,” she writes.
“I sobbed — my tears a huge release of relief and gratitude. It was one of the first times I said the word ‘adoption’ out loud.”
She recalls Joel’s immediate response with affection:
“Joel looked me in the eye, and without blinking, replied, ‘I don’t need a minute — and the answer is yes.’”
While their engagement eventually ended, their commitment to co-parenting has remained strong — something Hoda has also spoken about openly on Today.
“You just have to be honest about it,” she said.
“Kids catch pretending. They know that Joel and I care so much for each other, and they also know that we love them dearly.”
Rather than dividing time rigidly, Hoda says they focus on shared moments as a family.
“It’s not his time, my time. It’s our time. That’s how we do it.”
She describes how Joel remains a regular presence in their daughters’ lives, even on days when they are no longer together as a couple.
“We’ll do a barbecue. He’ll give the girls a kiss. He says, ‘See you in the morning.’ He’ll come back in the morning.”
Hoda believes her daughters are deeply attuned to the emotional tone between their parents.
“They understand your vibe,” she explains.
“I really adore Joel, and they know it. I’m not pretending. I’m not faking it.”
She adds that once children see genuine respect and affection, it brings them reassurance.
“Once they see that, they go, ‘Ah, OK. This is good. This is good for us.’”
Though their romantic chapter has closed, Hoda’s reflections paint a portrait of a modern family shaped by honesty, compassion and mutual respect — a quiet reminder that some endings are also acts of care.
Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/
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